Stress

Oh man well it has been a long long couple of weeks. My Grandpa had to have open heart surgery. I drove to Oklahoma City to be with him (even though I don't care for him much). I guess it is hard for some people to understand how conflicted I am. Out of all my family my grandma is the only person I truly love with all my heart and would move mountains for. I love my mom and others but I just don't like them much most time. It causes me so much pain to be with them that sometimes I wounder if it is worth it. Then the spirit will whisper that I am strong and even though I don't like them I love them. So Friday was a load of fun. First I get to drive for two hours with my sister (yeah enough said) then spend 6 1/2 hours at a hospital with people I hardly know and they all think I am strange because I am nothing like them. There were 4 of us grand kids there and out of us 4 I am the only one that raises there own children. (sad) All the grand kids and great grand kids were running around begging money from there parents or my grandma. (sad) I am the youngest out of the grand kids. When it was time for me to eat lunch I was going to take Kellie and her 3 kids to go eat cause mom didn't have any money and my Grandma just assumed she was going to have to go and pay for our food. I sat back down and told her I would no go if she was going to try to pay for the food. I was more than able to pay for my food and thiers. She finally said okay. My uncle Danny smiled at me when I left and nodded It was a moment were I had a great felling that yes some does see the crazy things these kids/adults do and no it is not right. Well there is lots more but I sure no one wants to hear all of it. It is hard when I am around them because when I get home I feel like I am depressed for weeks after ward. Just for being around them. I hope that my family Friends peace but until they accept God into there lives there is no help. When I was visiting my grandpa the Chaplin came into the room and wanted to see if someone would pray and my grand looked at her sad and said that he was the only religious one here (it was me and my mom,Brown,Kellie and the kids). I stood and told grandpa I had no problem at all saying a prayer for him. He looked surprised. After the prayer the Chaplin asked me if I went to church in Tulsa and I could proudly tell her yes. I saw a moment of happiness on grandpas face. No one was able to even say a prayer for a man before an operation that could have killed him. One day maybe they will come around.