T * R * B

It has been awhile.

2011-11-18T19:19:00.001-08:00

It has been a min since the last time I wrote but here is an update. I now have a soon to be 7 year old, a 5 year old, and a 16 month old. Torin is reading and doing lots of math. He is doing very good in school although he hates it with a burning passion. Torin is an old soul with a lot of emotions in him. Tayla is LOVING school. School was made for her. She is just a wonderful girl and you cant help but smile when she is around you. You will never see her with out her wanting to tell you something or just singing a song. Talin is the type of person who will get into everything and I do mean everything. He will dump buckets out so he can use them to reach things. If I baby proof something he has/will figure out a way around it in a day. He just is happy. I am a happy mother with a husband who loves me in every way. Thank you Heavenly Father!

Pre Blow Up

2011-01-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

I feel wound up tight. There has been so muck sickness this winter with my family and close family members. My poor six month old is sick again. *sigh* I love my family more then anything in the world. I know that it always could be worse and there is other people out there that is in alot worse shape then me. Okay with that being said I am about to throw my self a pity party. Why you ask? Well because I can and it will make me feel better. So onto the whining.

I am one of the mothers who is very hands on. When my babies are small I just don't leave them. Not with my husband or anyone. Not because I don't trust them just because I nurse them, they never took a bottle, and always cried when I was not around them. Well this takes its toll on me. I cant stand the constant feeling that there is always someone on me. If not the baby it is one of the other two kids and if I try to sit next to my husband then he wants to touch me because he hasn't been near me in days. I feel trapped and tired. I really don't like having to always be the one that has all the answers, the one who has to remember to give praises to the good jobs, the one who has to pay the bills, do the shopping on a budget, do my visit teaching, make sure everyone says there prayers, and the list goes on. I sometime just wounder what would happen if I just up and ran away to live on the run by myself. I then think what would I do there never has been a Nikki by herself. It has always been Nikki the daughter then straight to Nikki the wife to Nikki the mother. I know what I am feeling will pass and I wont be so tired and sad so no one worry I just like to have a pity party once in a while.

30 facts about me sigh

2010-12-22T14:28:00.000-08:00

So I was tagged this and what you are supposed to do is tag 30 different people and then write 30 facts about yourself.
It doesn't matter what you put as long as they are all facts.

1. I will not tag anyone but still fill the urge to tell you all 30 random facts about me.
2. No one liked me in high school excluding 2 girls and 1 boy.
3. I thought I was an awesome basketball player but really was terrible. (thanks Mom)
4. I love to water ski.
5. One of my best friends growing up was a boy.
6. My dad was an alcoholic
7. I am known as the family therapist
8. I have not worn make up in over 10 years
9. I secretly wish I was more girly
10. I get depressed and know one knows it
11. I had a hard childhood
12. I am extremely terrified of worms (thanks mom)
13. I suffer from terrible headaches
14. Mice freak me out like not other
15. I can not be alone
16. I never have been away from my husband for longer then two days
17. I was married one month after my 19th birthday
18. I ran away from home when I was 13 and took my moms truck
19. I was arrested when I was 18 for fighting my sister and spent the night in jail *sigh*
20. I cant spell
21. I cant use cleaners without gloves and lots of washing my hands cause I think it will eat my skin off.
22. My sister-in-law Bre is the only person who knows absolutely everything about me.
23. I love twilight
24. I got into so many fights in school
25. My boyfriend died when we were freshman in high school
26. I hate laundry
27. My dad hit me with his car when I was 13 and dislocated my knee and kept going (yes my mom was there she helped me)
28. My favorite color is purple
29. My favorite food is spinach cheese dip
30. I call my grandma every day well almost every day

Random

2010-08-28T04:55:00.000-07:00

I am about to take a idea from Bre and spew my thoughts out randomly.

I am glad we decided to have a third child. It is harder then I thought it would be. I feel like I am neglecting my other two. I hate having to send Torin to school. He is stressed out and it makes me sad. I think he is mad at me for making him go and he is taking it out on me by starting to have an attitude with me. I need to find more energy to spend more time with him. I feel like I am so tired all the time and Talin is a great sleeper so I should not complain. My Tayla gets in trouble alot and I hate that if I could do more with her she wouldn't be acting out. I feel like a failure. My husband has so much to do (at work) and tells me he needs help and I have been trying to help him but I have nothing left. I am never alone. I am always with the kids and when they go to sleep then its Elis time the its sleep time and then it starts over. Sometimes I don't want to go to sleep because I don't want the day to start over. Sometimes I feel like jumping of a building. My kids make so happy. My husband does very nice things for me and always trys hard even when he doesn't want to. I hate yelling. It stresses me out. My mom always yelled at me and hit me so I do not ever want to be like that. I don't know how to make everyone happy. I want to make more friends but I never seem to be able to accomplish that. I get so tired of always taking care of everyone else. Well there is more but my baby needs me.

Talin Russel

2010-07-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

Here is how it goes.

Talin was born by c-section July 6 at 9:18 am. The c-section took 2 hours because I wouldn't stop bleeding and then they had to get x-ray in there because one of the nurses miss counted something so they thought they left it in me but woot it wasnt. So two hours later and I finaly get to go see and nurse my baby. When they wheel me in the room my mother has my baby. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I wanted to claw her armw off to see another femal with my baby before I even get to hold him. I am better about that now though, So Talin was 8 lbs 9 oz and was very hungry when he came out. His blood sugar got low cause he had to wait so long to nurse but that was soon fixed also. He swallowed so fluid that they had to suck out that he had to throw up over the next few days to. That was very scary cause we would have to stick the sucker thing down his mouth to get it out but that to didn't last long and he is fine ou that. I am going on 4 days of complete horazontal bed rest only get up to pee and lay back down because I got a spinal headach from the spinal they gave me. That is where you leak spinal fluid from the spot the placed the spinal tube at. I could have got a blood patch to fix it but there are a lot of ricks with it so this is the other thing that will fix it. Laying flat and drinking lots of fluid and caffine. I am able to sit and walk around moe today then everbefore so I think anther day and I should be good. The pain from c-section is very mild this time so no I can see the end of the road of this very long journey. Oh and one thing that shocked me at the birth was all of Talins thick black hair. It is beautiful.

Cuteness

2010-05-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

Tayla: ahhblada JUICE hfjsdhffhskhf HOT dhfkdshfkhk (as she runs through the living room holding her mouth)
Torin: Mom I think Tayla needs a drink cause her mouth is so hot she is speaking spanish.

Prego!

2009-10-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

Well yes it is true I am pregnant. Wooot I know. Well I had my youngest three years ago and both pregnancy's were very hard on me. I was really sick. After Tayla we thought we were done. Well Eli decided to go get the snip surgery about two months. So his letter came in the mail to fill out and bring in at his appointment. Well we sat at dinner that night and both of us just felt it was wrong to get the surgery so we decided to pray about it. Two days later we had no worry that we were supposed to try again. Three weeks later wamo I am pregnant! Three weeks and I was already late. It took nine months with Torin and five months for Tayla. So now I am very confident that God has a plan and I am meant to be pregnant with this child at this time. I am excited to see what God has in store for us.

No No Werido

2009-10-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

Has had a weird day. While shopping a Sam's I go to get a pop from the fountain and a very old man comes up next to me and looks right at my chest and begins to tell my how he loves lavender (the color of my shirt) the whole time he never takes his eyes from my chest. I mean really he was like 80 not that being younger would have been okay and it wasn't even like the girls were hanging out. I didn't say anything to him just looked at him like he was a weirdo. Then he says "nice very nice" then leaves. I was floored. I mean really. No no weirdo's.

It Happened

2009-09-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

So it finally happened to me today. That dreaded you have to choose between the kids(when someting bad is happening)and figure out what you do. Well this is what happened. The kids were out side playing and they were up on top of the dog house. They always play up ther no bed deal. I hear screaming so I run to the back door and they are both ontop of the dog house screaming. Torin did have words coming out saying "mom they are all over her". I am in a dead run cause Tayla is screaming loud and terrified. I get there and she is covered in ants. I had a half of second to look at Torin and didn't see any on him but I didn't know. I just grabed Tayla and went to run but I couldn't leave Torin. It was so hard to get him down and not just run with her but I just grabed his arm and half lifted and pulled him of the house and told him to run. I didn't know if they were on him but I knew they were all over her. I was running and pulling torin with me I ran thorugh the house and turned the shower head on and drenched Tayla (yes the water was cold) I was pulling her clothes, which was already wet, and water was going every where in the bathroom. Then I relized I needed to get Torin just in case. So I have him jump in and start squirting him and my self because they are on me know to. Well we got them all off, the bathroom cleaned and I just bearly kept from having a heart attack. The ants had made a home under the shingles of the dog house cause of all the rain so needless to say I am going to be investing in some bug spray.

Stress

2009-07-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

Oh man well it has been a long long couple of weeks. My Grandpa had to have open heart surgery. I drove to Oklahoma City to be with him (even though I don't care for him much). I guess it is hard for some people to understand how conflicted I am. Out of all my family my grandma is the only person I truly love with all my heart and would move mountains for. I love my mom and others but I just don't like them much most time. It causes me so much pain to be with them that sometimes I wounder if it is worth it. Then the spirit will whisper that I am strong and even though I don't like them I love them. So Friday was a load of fun. First I get to drive for two hours with my sister (yeah enough said) then spend 6 1/2 hours at a hospital with people I hardly know and they all think I am strange because I am nothing like them. There were 4 of us grand kids there and out of us 4 I am the only one that raises there own children. (sad) All the grand kids and great grand kids were running around begging money from there parents or my grandma. (sad) I am the youngest out of the grand kids. When it was time for me to eat lunch I was going to take Kellie and her 3 kids to go eat cause mom didn't have any money and my Grandma just assumed she was going to have to go and pay for our food. I sat back down and told her I would no go if she was going to try to pay for the food. I was more than able to pay for my food and thiers. She finally said okay. My uncle Danny smiled at me when I left and nodded It was a moment were I had a great felling that yes some does see the crazy things these kids/adults do and no it is not right. Well there is lots more but I sure no one wants to hear all of it. It is hard when I am around them because when I get home I feel like I am depressed for weeks after ward. Just for being around them. I hope that my family Friends peace but until they accept God into there lives there is no help. When I was visiting my grandpa the Chaplin came into the room and wanted to see if someone would pray and my grand looked at her sad and said that he was the only religious one here (it was me and my mom,Brown,Kellie and the kids). I stood and told grandpa I had no problem at all saying a prayer for him. He looked surprised. After the prayer the Chaplin asked me if I went to church in Tulsa and I could proudly tell her yes. I saw a moment of happiness on grandpas face. No one was able to even say a prayer for a man before an operation that could have killed him. One day maybe they will come around.

2009-06-26T13:10:00.000-07:00

Okay it has been a while. I am showing a picture of the last cake I did in my cake class. It was a fun class It has been over for about a month now. :) Anyway whats new in my life. It is almost my 27th birthday. In 12 days. :) I am getting to go to dinner with my hubby. Don't know if it is going to be alone yet and I get to go dancing. Yes you heard me I am going to shake my go thing. Eli has no wish at all to go dancing so he is sending with Breanne and Inga and Ingas husband. Also he asked his best friend Tyler to go with me so I could dance with someone. He knows me to well Eli knows I wont be dancing with any strangers. Eli is wonderful. How many husbands would let there wives go dancing and take along his best friend while he stays with the kids. Truth be told I would get a babysitter if I could talk Eli into going with me. :) I am very excited to go. It will be fun.

Cake 2

2009-05-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

I made this cake for my honey. He liked it. I got a smile from him.

What's been up!

2009-05-10T16:45:00.000-07:00

Well it has been rainy a lot lately and my kids can not be kept inside. They love to be outside. They have been getting a lot of baths. :) It is worth it though.

Me and Breanne have been taking a cake decorating class and this was the first cake I made. I gave it to Trica for Mothers Day.

I had a great Mothers Day. Eli got me beautiful flowers and he took Torin to the store so he could buy me some jewelry. He loves to buy me jewelry. I Love my family they are very good to me.

Heart attack

2009-04-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

Okay well today I was taking a shower. Yes I know but we all have to do it at some point. Well I go through the same rotuine as always before I get in.
Mom - Torin what do you do if someone knocks on the door?

Torin - Well I come get you Mom!

Mom - Great you and Tayla can play on my bed but don't jump on it cause you might fall off and break your arm.

Torin - Okay Mom

Well I get into the shower leaving the door open so I can hear if anything happens like someone falling off my bed and breaking there arm. So in the middle of my shower, while I had my hair full of conditioner and one leg had shaving cream all over it and I had soap head to toe and razor in mid swipe, I hear Tayla cry. Well it was not bad at all so I hollar "Whats wrong in there" no sonner then those words come out of my mouth Torin screams MOM MOM HURRY MOM COME HURRY HELLLLP!!!! This was sreamed over Tayla who started screeching as soon as Torin began to have a major panic attack. As soon as I heard this I yanked the shower curtain back and jumped out throwing the razor down. I did grab a towle but was running out the bathroom door into my room not stoping to worry that I had soap running down me, shaving cream all over my leg and my hands, and the fact that my window was wide open. Well Tayla had busted her lip and it was bleeding a little and Torin was terrifed. It was sweet and sad. As soon as she stopped crying she was trying to hug Torin who was scarred stiff. He was not letting her and he kept sayin I don;t want to make her bleed more. I told him that it was an accident and it was not his fault. Come to find out she didn't even hit her lip on him. Well I got all calf again and was able to finsh my shower. but I pray no one saw me through the open window.

Big Girl

2009-03-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

Well this Saturday we went to get Tayla her big girl bed. She has been in a toddler bed for a while so it was time she got her twin. Not only does it give me somewhere to sleep when all the kids wind up in my bed it is a real mattress. No longer does she have to sleep on that hard baby bed mattress. Really who would want to sleep on one of those. She loves it. We only set it on the box spring on the floor so it is not to tall. She would not pose for pictures on it. Oh well. She is growing so big. She is a handful at times but I would not trade her for anything (not even the same girl who minds everything I say) She would not be the same. I love her and all the excitment she brings. Tayla has a wounderful spirt that shines. God truly blessed our lives when he gave her to us.

I had to add Torins master castle with the dinosaurs. He LOVES dinosaurs.

Great

2009-02-17T06:26:00.000-08:00

Well the kids have been feeling better for about a little over a week now. Great! Well I hope everyone had a great Happy Valentines day! Me and Eli cooked and had our friends and family over and played games. Its was great. The kids loved it to. They liked making all the Valentines day cards. I have been trying to get my hair to look normal again. It is starting to look somewhat normal. I need to get it dyed one more to make it look good. I just need to get the money now. Eli had Monday off and I have been having a really bad headache. So on Monday I took a nap I layed down at 11:30 and slept till 3:00. Crazy I know I can't believe I slept that long but I felt better. I was even able to sleep that night to. Well I need to fix breakfast now.

Never ending

2009-02-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

So my Torin is sick yet again.16 days after having his tonsils out he has a fever and his body hurts (joints and head). Last night he was up most of the night throwing up. Today he has not been throwing up. It is hard because Tayla is not sick so she is stir crazy and I am exhausted. After I got hardly any sleep last night she was up bright and early. I tried to get eli to get up to take care of her but I guess he had a head ache cause I didn't get him awake until 10:30. He said he had a had ache. I just am done. I wish my poor son didn't have to be sick. Can you imagine having strep throat for 3 1/2 weeks then have your tonsiles taken out then about 5 to 7 days after you stop hurting from that you get sick again. I will take him to see his Dr Monday. He either has just a normal cold, the flu, or Rhumatic fever. I just hat seeing him in pain. I have been clean every toy in my house. I have bought immunity building drinks and new vitiamens. I know over board but I am desperate. So hope all is well with everyones family.

New day

2009-01-27T04:52:00.000-08:00

Okay well Torin is finally almost all better. I did not have to give him any pain medican yesterday. WOOOT! My little Tayla has been having a runny nose but no other symptoms. No cough, or fever. I am thankful to our heavenly father for helping my kids and well family. We have had so many blessings that I am truly grateful. My kids have been sick for a while but even in that time God has never fogot me he has helped me and carried me at times. So last Sunday My brother and sister-in-law came over after my kids went to sleep and we played games and ate cheese dip. It was great fun. I want to play again soon. We were blessed enough to buy a car yesterday. We have been thinking about it for a while but we did not want a car payment and have full coverage insurance. Yesterday Eli found on the internet by chance a Mazda MPV. It is a 2000 and only had a 100,007 miles. Mazdas are good about lasting a long time so it has alot more miles left on it. It has three rows of seats, a sun roof, front and rear air, and an alarm. It is great. The best part is we did not have to get a car loan. I will post a pic when it is warm enough to go out side.

The moon

2009-01-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have made my trip to the moon and it was great. Tayla did not really want to come but she did. She went home early but Maquinna (sorry Inga i can't spell it) and Torin shot all the aliens and the wild dinosaurs who had there own spaceships. So they kept us safe. I was great.

I found out Torin does have to have his tonsils out this Wensday the 14th. I am scared for him. I know he will be okay but I don't want him to in pain. As a mother I hurt along with my children and it hurts bad to watch them in pain. I know he needs this so I trust God will confert him. Well I am going to end this so I can watch a show.

Life is good

2009-01-06T05:18:00.000-08:00

Well I thought it was about time I wrote about what has been going on around here lately. This last month has been extra hard. My Torin has had strep 3 times in the last 4 weeks. Me and Eli had it once and my Tayla fell off Torins bunk bed and Hurt her foot. She couldn’t walk for two days and still 4 days later she was still limping. It was not broke just sprained. Well now Torin has to go to the ear and nose Dr. and he might have to get his tonsils out. He is so small and that is hard. I just want him not to hurt but it is hard as a mother to hurt him to fix him.

I have started to potty train Tayla again so I hope it goes good. She seems willing. She only peeped once in her pants yesterday and that was in the bathroom. She likes to go potty because I do “potty stars” and she loves to get her sticker when she goes potty. I have done some thinking lately and I want to be the best person I can be. I want to make my husband smile and my kids laugh. I know I do all these things but I want to be better. I have decided we watch too much TV lately since everyone has been sick we need to get back to playing and using our imaginations. I can’t tell you the last time Torin and I was on the moon. Now Tayla is big enough to drive a space ship to. :)

Party

2008-12-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

Well we had Torins 4th birthday party last Saturday. It was a blast in spite of my little Tayla had a 102 fever. Alot of his friends didn't get to come but my mom and my sisters kids came, Zack and Bre, and Tommy and Trica. So he still had a GREAT time. He was so excited he has had this idea of the perfect birthday cake. Well he has told me down to the last detail and me and Bre made it happen. It was a blast and I would just like to tell you Zack and BreAnne that I love yall. You to make my kids so happy and I hope your kids will like me as well. :)

Question

2008-12-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

I don't understand something that I found out in church class yesterday. So here it is. If me and my husband are not sealed togther but he is sealed to his mom what happens? Does he get to go be sealed with them while me and my family go floating around or do we get another chance afterwards to get sealed or (this one someone mentioned) if I did all the thing like teample promises and other things then I would be given a "new husband". I do not like this one and I do not want anyone but my husband. Forever and eterinty. If he is not ready to do things the church may want us to I don't care. I love him with all my heart and soul. He is my world and I do not want anyone but him EVER. So if anyone knows anything about this then feel free to let me know. Thanks

Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T05:45:00.000-08:00

Top ten things I am thankful for!

1. My Heavenly Father and his love for me.

2. The Holy Spirt. He keeps me out of a lot of trouble.

3. My kids. They make me so happy and mad but both emotions I could not live with out. The fill every inch of my heart. I truly know what it means to love and be loved unconditionally. Having kids helped me to truly understand how our Heavenly Father loves us. (not to mention I had to get up 4 times so far to get something for one of them and I am only on #3)

3a. Torin- his personality is so calm and sweet. He is very caring and hates to see people sad. He sings Twinkle twinkle Little Star for Tayla every time she is sad. He needs to learn about everything in detail. He is just like his dad in many ways and like me in others. He is very emotional like me and very curios like his father. He also says he grew from another planet and took a space ship to come live with us. That is how he is so smart.

3b. Tayla- She is very head strong and very loving wrapped up in one little body. She can make you smile just watching her. She shines with self-confidence and determination. She makes me learn things about myself every day. She is not afraid to go first. She tends to lead her brother. She challenges me to be a better mother. She loves to sing and she gets very focused when working on things. She shines with beauty.

4. My wonderful husband. He is so good to me. He tries hard to make me happy. We are traveling the same path. We may be at different parts of that road but we are heading in the same direction. He is my knight in shining armor. He swept in and road away with my heart. I am so grateful that he is my first everything and he will be my last.

5. I am grateful that I have wonderful sister-in-laws. They help me to learn more about my self. They also give me great tips on being a mother.

6. I am grateful for where I came from. It has made me the person I am today. I am very happy with who I am.

7. I am grateful for my church family. They are wonderful people who I love to get to know.

8. I am grateful for my Grandma. She has worked so hard her whole life and still works to take care of people. She has great insight.

9. I am grateful for the couples of hours I get to spend alone with my husband at night after the kids go to sleep.

10. I am also grateful for Mac Chickens from Mac-E-D's. I don't know how to spell them but I really love them things.

I am worth something! My Heavenly Father says so!

2008-11-23T15:54:00.001-08:00

Okay so I have struggled for many years (well lets be honest my whole life) with a low self esteem. I was raised in a home that I was NEVER good enough for any thing. My mom never hugged me and told me that she loved me or that I was beautiful. I was always told I needed more makeup, better basketball skills, or just anything in general. So I developed this thing (since the second grade) that I would always help everyone and give them everything I could that way surly they would like me. Well it was never enough. I was in the second grade when my parents split and I went with my mom and her new husband. Mom was always gone to work or outta town working so I cooked cleaned and took care of my drunk sister.

Okay before we go any farther I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me. I lived through it and I have a wonderful family and could not ask for more. It has truly made me who I am to this day.

Okay so I have learned that for 18 years no matter what I did I never looked good enough nor did anything well enough, so it is hard to just turn off those thoughts now that I am an adult. There have been things that I can not erase from my mind. I have been screamed at, cussed out, beat and sexually abused for so long it is hard to turn it off. So with all that said I have decided.

I AM WORHT IT! I AM SMART ENOUGH! I AM NOT THAT LITTLE GIRL THAT NEEDS HELP!

It was in my church class that I go to on Thursday when I heard another member say “It is the devil that whispers those thoughts of your not good enough, that you are worthless, or that you deserve the pain you are going through.” Now she does not know anything about my personal life or anything but it clicked it is the devil he wants me to suffer and I know that my Heavenly Father wants me to be happy and soar the clouds. The sky is the limit.

So my goal is to try not to forget that I am worth something, My Heavenly Fathers love. So to all those who know me I am trying to build my self confidence and it will take time because I cant turn off things that I have lived with for 18 years.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father because I know he loves my unconditionally.

Craziness

2008-11-19T07:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I enjoy duing meaningless surveys that random people send me. They have some of the craziest questions but I think they are kinda fun. You may learn to much about me so don't read if you want to judge me. Wow that sounded rude I didn't mean to be rude. Ok any way here we go. :)

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes when I was arrested. My sister was cracked out when she came home when I was 18 and we got into a fist fight. Cops were called and well.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
No because you couldnt pay me to ride one.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
When I lived with my mom and real dad in Okhema. That town is the best for sledding.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
With someone. How about my husband and two kids wind up all in the bed together at some point.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Sure

7. Do you think O.J.
killed his wife?
Uh yes

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Don't care

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
More then any one wants to here. But everyone needs to start prepareing there food storage. With in 4 years we are all going to be in trouble.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
No

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I Tvo

13. Who was your first love?
Elijah Robert Brue

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
No Bre knows all my secrets. Some even my hubby dosent know.
Dun dun du

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Huh

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
When I was in the 2nd grade

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Often the sometime desterve me. Like when I got my nails done from my hubbys friend in our bathroom then went to get into bed and my mom was in my bed with some lind of nightgown. Tramitized.
Ahhhh Flashbacks No No bad dream

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
Fried turkey

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Always

21.What talent do you wish you had?
Breath under water

22. Do you like Sushi?
No

23. What do you wear to bed?
PJ pants and a tee shirt

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
no

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Sorry hubby but I would so hit Vin Diesel (Shame on me)

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Yeap my sister

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Bloody meat

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
No

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
To many times to count

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Yes

2008-11-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

Well I pride my self on being able to give my kids these birthday parties that are great. I never had birthday parties ever growing up so I put a lot of planning into these parties. Now the funny part is that I am so cheap so I have learned to marry the two. I save everything from decorations to left over plates. I make there cakes and that can be hard some times but 5 dollars compared to 30 dollars. Really? So anyway Taylas party was a hit even though she will not remember it me and Eli had a great time just hanging out with family. We love to have people over it is great times. Thanks to my sister-in-law who came over and helped decorate the birthday cake it was a lot of fun and not as hard as I thought. Torin has already told me he wants a volcano cake with dinosaurs so if anyone wants to come help me decorate on his birthday next month :)

Party

2008-11-03T10:57:00.000-08:00

Well I have always felt like I am a very trifty mom. We need to be these days. Well I love all holidays were we get to have a great time with our kids. I know a lot of people think is is scary or a waste of time but I think it is as scary as you let it be. I love the hunt to make the best costume your little one wants. When they are old enough. This year was the first year I bought my kids costumes so I kinda cheaped out but my kids loved it. We had a little to much trick or treating this year. Wensday we went to the church Thursday mom got us free tickets to the Aquerium (it was the best time every) and then Friday we went with my sister-in-law trick or treating. Saturday around noon Torin was sick with a 101 fever so I was somewhat of a bad mom to do so much with them but hey what other time do you get to go crazy with your kids.

This Saturday is my Taylas 2nd birthday. We are having a big party because me and Eli LOVE haveing people over and cooking food. So I pride my self on giving my kids great partys for no money. I just can not see spending tons of money on things that will go in the trash after wards. So I have collected things from people and I reuse things for different partys and mis match and reuse it is great because I dont have to spend hundreds of dollars on party supplies. So I cant wait to have a great time with family and friends.

Important Information!

2008-10-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

When trying to collect small bugs to feed your sons pet frogs because you are to cheap to drive to the store to pay for what is already in your yard. DO NOT USE A STRAW!!! It does not work and the bug goes straight down your throat. Note to the wise.

Way. . .

2008-10-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

To Cute for Words :)

Delima

2008-10-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

So I have been having alot of inter turmoil going on inside me. I have been goring closer to our Heavenly Father and I feel that Satan has been trying to tempt me in ways that I cant explain. I have been trying to figure out were I belong. For example, am I a old fogie mom, am I a younge adult,or the pre mom care free person Eli met. Okay I know this makes sense. I just don't feel like I know who I want to be. I keep trying to change because I think thats what people want me to be. I want to do what I know my Heavenly Father wants me to do. He does not want me to givin to temptation not even a little. I am proud that I can be a good example to my children. That they will one day ask me how they can be steadfast and strong like me. I want to instill in them that when it is a bumpy road you are on the right one. Satan will throw everything at you. No matter what anyone says about you or makes you feel that if in your heart you feel peace then you are right. Well it is about trunk or treat time so I must go. I know I will find my way!

Question of the day!

2008-10-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever asked yourself why me?

Well I have asked my self many times today.

1st when I was chasing my screaming kids down the halls at church.

2nd When I was trying to carry me kicking and screamin two year old through the
crowed halls at church to find the elders to give them a calander.

3rd When I hear my two year old trying to go potty but instead she was playing with her dress in the toliet.

4th When I go to cook dinner and find that my thoughtful husband threw out my mashed potatoes that I had cooked for dinner the other day and made extra so I could just add milk and cheese and call it a day.

Then as I sit here going on and on about my woo's I hear my kids giggling hollaring Boing Boing and my sweet husband just came in the office rubed my back for a split second and I knew. I know know why I am me and I could not wish to be any one eles. God work in mysterious ways.

Today

2008-10-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

Well today is the end of a very LONG week. We found today that one of our tadpoles turned into a frog. Yeah it was so cute. Key word here "WAS" well it started with I neede to get some crikets for the frog to eat. We also needed to build up the dirt area and clean the water. So this is may day.

1. I take the kids to play at Mac-e-D's for a reward to Torin for not peeing in the bed for over a week now.

2. We go straight to the liabary.

3. We go directly to the pet store to get crickets for the frogs. We go in and get the pin head crickets and the lady was so nice she let me have them for free. We go to the car and I ask Torin to hold them while I buckel Tayla into her seat. I shut her door and turn around He had squiched all the crickets into mush. AHHHH Now way am I going back into that store to get more. Home we go.

4. We have lunch and rest time

5. We go to clean out the frog tank. I make clean water net out all tadpoles but cant find the frog. Well I thought I would catch it when I dumped the old water out. So I dumped the water out outside slowely but I could not find that frog any where. So The poor thing turned into a frog and I killed it or at least I turned it loose. Might have been for the best since Torin mushed his food.

So anyway I hope everyone is doing well. Have a great day.

Pictures to share

2008-09-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

I started to paint my front room and my kids were helping me. I know it made it twice as hard and a whole lot merrier but I love them right there into it all "helping". Also I am adding a photo of Taylas Halloween costume she is sooo cute.

Howdy

2008-09-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

Well Last Saturday I took the kids to Lowes at 10:00am to do this building project for kids. The great part is it is free! Any way they got to build piret ships. The pre drilled all the holes so Torin could use there little hammer and hammer in all the little nails. the project comes with blue prints that have pictures and words so Torin could fallow a long with the "Blue prints". They both got there own apron googles and after they did the progect they got a patch that I can sew onto there apron. It was tons of free fun. They do it every other Saturday. Not this Saturday but next they get to build firetrucks. Yeah I know cool right. My family members have been telling me about this but I never have taken them but now I am going all the time. I am going to try to get them to let me take there pictures with there stuff.

Life

2008-09-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

I have desided life is great. I have a wonderful family and am making great new friends to add to the great ones I already have. I would just like the world to know that I am greatful for everything. I want to do so much in life and hope I can acomplish it.

Baby talk

2008-09-05T05:58:00.000-07:00

Well my son who is now 3 1/2 came to about a week ago and had a very interesting conversation it goes like this.

Torin: Mom I want you to grow me a baby!

Mom: What did you say?

Torin: I want a baby but it has to have a penis. I want to play with it.

Mom: Uh Torin mom is not going to grow a baby for you to play with. I takes a long time to grow a baby and for it to get big enough for you to play with. Mom also gets to sick when I grow babies.

Torin: Oh mom don't worry I will bring you a puke bucket and a drink of water when you need it.

Mom: Well Torin that is very nice but even if I did grow a baby there is no guarantee that God would make it a boy. If it was a boy he would have to share your room and your toys all the time.

Note wrong thing to say because his excitement swells

Torin: Oh that is ok we can get bunk beds and I have lots of toys to share and we can just pray and tell God we want one with a penis.

Mom: Uh Torin I think we need to wait till dad comes home to talk to him

So later when we are all eating dinner that night Torin lays the question on Eli he almost chokes on his chicken and quickly answers back I think mom needs to take you to find some friends who are boys that are your same age for you to play with. Torin who had never thought of that was very happy of the idea that he may not have to wait to have a boy friend.

Froggie pic

2008-08-28T12:45:00.000-07:00

Frogs everywhere

2008-08-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

So my wonderful discovered a week ago that a momma frog jumped into his little pool outside (that I hadn't cleaned in over a week opps) and had HIM some tadpoles. There were hundreds of tadpoles and he wanted to keep everyone. So being the bleeding heart mother that I am I decided to make a frog habitat out of an old fish tank easy right WRONG? Not only did I net about 24 little tadpoles I also captured about 50 mosquitoes larva. Yes I strained the water before but it did not work. So after I made this new home for my sons 3 set of pets I was watching them (I have to admit the are very cute) I notice all these mosquitoes. AHHH what do I do! So I try to net them out. No they swim away fast. I hit the internet great they sell fish that eat them. Off to the pet store we go! I nice young girl was there to help me and I told her my predicament. Wow she is also a frog expert well the best an 18 year old can be. She recommends these two small fish keep in mind I have my two children with me. Torin is also my real deep thinker I mean if he asks you why is his candy bar brown he wants to know the chemical compounds that make up the color brown. Any way back to the story. After she suggests these to fish she continues to tell me that these would be the best to eat the squiggling larva because the eat there own babies after they have them. I gasp as my son starts screaming no momma that’s not right mommas don’t eat there babies. You would never eat me RIGHT!!!!! I look on horror as this young girl is taken back at the pandors box she has opened. I quickly explain that I world never eat him and I promised to explain everything as soon as we got home. I quickly take my fish and head home. Now it has been two days and I think I have explained enough about how the animal kingdom works but he still does not look at those fish the same. The crazy things we as parents go through to make our kids just the slightest bit happy makes me laugh sometimes. So now at night when we say our night prayers Torin has informed us that we have to include the 2 dogs, the 15 or so fish including the 2 mean ones, the 24 tadpoles, and the worms in our prayers each night. If you forget them we must say a whole other prayer just for them. The worms are in a habitat that he saw how to make on TV and suckered me into making for him. I thought great science project no just another pet. If any of you’ll know me very well you also know that I have this carnal fear of worms I am terrified that they will crawl inside me and live in my intestines and us my backside as a door to come and go as they please. THANKS MOM FOR THAT ONE! Well okay hope all is well!

What a week

2008-08-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

So let me start by telling everyone that I am a very loving and caring person but my blogs may not always show it. This is my chance to talk about the things that are bothering me and maybe everyone else. Let’s just start by saying that I am the most blessed women I know. I get to stay at home with the kids and my husband treats me great. Now on to more selfish thoughts that I have been having. I miss the times when I could sleep till noon and the first thing in the morning was not MOM I NEED JUICE JUICE JUICE MOOOOOOM JUICEEEEEEEE! I mean please can I pee in the privacy of my own bathroom that I never have time to clean. I did just roll out of bed and it is 7am. I would also like to add that you know you have had you last ounce you can handle when your husband comes into the kitchen after a VERY stress filled day (of tending to two kids who need everything and have to be latched to your hip cause they are moody) after the kids are asleep and the quiet is so soothing and all you want is a snack for your self only to hear from behind you What are you making US for a snack? US US what the heck so I proceeded to threw crackers at him and told him I am going to Sonic. Then I decided if I went back home I would consider jumping off the house. So I went to my sister-in-laws house.

Now I know there is a lot more that I have bottled up inside me that no one hears about but sometimes I feel like my whole body is going to explode with anger, guilt, love, and pure joy. How can so many emotions run through some ones body at one time? I have decided that I need to feel like a woman. Not just the one who has the snacks and diapers or the one who can be used as a place to wipe there runny nose (as if I have never thought them how to use a tissue) or the women that cooks the breakfast lunch and dinner. I know I am loved by others I NEED TO LOVE MYSELF. So I want to get dressed up and I want to go on a date with my wonderful husband and I want him to make me feel like a sexy beautiful women. I am sorry if this is all jumbled together but I have been having a very hard week and I have all this emotions running through me and I just am trying to get some of it out as I sit typing and crying.

I know God has a plan for me and I hope one day I can hear from him that I made a difference in the live that I have touched. More than that I hope I can feel it. It is hard when people tell you that you are a great wonderful person but how can you make yourself feel it?

Woot

2008-08-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

I did it I have lots to tell you so I am working on it Yeah! keep checking back!

Getting going!

2008-08-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

I am once again going to attempt to keep this site working check back in a few days!

T * R * B

It has been awhile.

Pre Blow Up

30 facts about me *sigh*

Random

Talin Russel

Cuteness

Prego!

No No Werido

It Happened

Stress

Cake 2

What's been up!

Heart attack

Big Girl

Great

Never ending

New day

The moon

Life is good

Party

Question

Thanksgiving

I am worth something! My Heavenly Father says so!

Craziness

Party

Important Information!

Way. . .

Delima

Question of the day!

Today

Pictures to share

Howdy

Life

Baby talk

Froggie pic

Frogs everywhere

What a week

Woot

Getting going!

30 facts about me sigh